'Am I being overly paranoid, or is it reasonable to be worried?': Long-distance pawrent’s worry grows as cat sitter's silence and cattitude push her to plan a fur baby rescue

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jul 2, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

This stressed-out pawrent is facing a real claws-for-concern situation after leaving their affectionate cat with a casual cat sitter during a big out-of-state move. What started as a hopeful arrangement quickly turned into a fur-raising mess. At first, the sitter sent regular photos and videos, but those updates stopped after just a few days. When the pawrent politely asked for more, the sitter got defensive and instead of a real-time check-in, she sent an old nighttime video. Not exactly comforting.

But the real drama? The sitter admitted to feeding the cat less on purpose to "teach him to obey." Not only is that not okay, it borders on controlling and cruel, especially since this isn't her pet. Add to that her earlier comment about intentionally scaring the cat to keep him from going outside, and it's no wonder this pawrent is panicking.

With no recent proof of the cat's condition and bizarre behavior from the sitter, this situation has gone way past sketchy. The pawrent now plans to drop by in person, hoping to see their kitty and possibly take him back. Honestly? With this many red flags, who could blame them?

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  • 01
    'The way she talks about controlling his behavior makes me uncomfortable'
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  • 02
    My cat is very clingy and friendly to everyone, but due to an out-of- state move, I had to leave him with a cat sitter for two weeks. She isn't a professional-she just does this as a side job. She told me the cat is staying in a room about the size of a bedroom, which they usually use as a study. They intentionally scared the cat to make him believe going outside was dangerous, which already made me a bit uneasy.
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  • 03
    She sent me photos and videos regularly for the first three days but then stopped for the last 4-5 days. I reached out and asked for updates and more pictures, and she responded by saying she had already sent me many, which felt a bit dismissive. I insisted, and she sent me a video she had taken
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    Cheezburger Image 10524891392
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  • 05
    beforehand (I asked during the day, and she sent me a video of her boyfriend playing with the cat at night so that's how I know it's not life). I felt something knowing that she works from home and taking a quick real-time pic/video isn't all that considering that she hasn't sent me any in the past 5 days.
    via TotalAd7551
  • 06
    I started to feel more concerned, so I followed up. She told me the cat is doing fine, but added that she's intentionally not feeding him too much—saying it's to teach him. that he has to "obey" to get food. She also mentioned that my cat hasn't licked her or made biscuits on her or her boyfriend. In the
    via TotalAd7551
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    Cheezburger Image 10524891648
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    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    videos she shared earlier, he seemed calm and playful, so I don't see obvious signs of stress. Still, the way she talks about controlling his behavior makes me uncomfortable. Like I understand people may have different strategies and relationship with pets, but the cat not showing any clinginess with them Idk if this is just a normal response from the cat or not.
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  • 09
    Am I being overly paranoid, or is it reasonable to be worried in this situation? 【Update 7/2】 Update: I told the sitter I'll be dropping off something for my cat at noon so hopefully I'll get to see him-and bring him back. I don't want to upset her and she take it on my cat :(
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  • 10
    Question: If something goes wrong with my cat (hopefully not-this no-photo situation has me worried), what can I do, and what should I do? What are my options legally or personally? I'm moving from a southern state to MA. The plan was to get everything set up first and then bring my baby cat up so the move wouldn't be too stressful for him. But now I'm not sure what to do.
    via TotalAd7551
  • 11
    squarepant45 That is a dreadful cat sitter and person. Go get your cat.
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  • 12
    Formyldehyde You're being far too kind to this 'Cat Sitter', there's so many red flags here. Definitely would seek out an alternative arrangement.
    via Formyldehyde

  • Red flags? This cat sitter's throwing a whole parade. No updates, food as a bribe, and zero biscuits? That’s not pet care. It’s a furry fiasco waiting to happen.

  • 13
    birknsocks I think it's more than reasonable! By "not feeding him too much" does she mean she's not giving him extra treats, or is she actually limiting the amount of food that you instructed her to give? Because if it's just treats, then OK...she's not going to be on kitty's good side but that's not harming him. However, if it's the latter then that's a red flag.
    via birknsocks
  • 14
    Why does she care if kitty makes biscuits on her or her bf? He's not her cat. Not giving regular updates is also a red flag, especially if she works at home. I've house and pet sat for weeks at a time, and if I am there when the owner requests an update, I will give them an update.
    via birknsocks
  • 15
    I wonder if something happened that she's not telling you about.
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  • 16
    throwwwwwwalk Absolutely never use this person again. You absolutely should be worried - you should've hired an insured professional to stay at yours instead of dropping him off at someone else's house. This is going to be incredibly detrimental to his health.
    via throwwwwwwalk

  • Lesson learned: never trust a rando with your fur baby! Always go with someone qualified, caring, and competent. Your cat deserves better than amateur hour at the kitty-sitting club. 

  • 17
    CrickettheCattie I'm not worried about the lack of biscuit-making, but your catsitter sounds like a monster tbh. Is there anyone else you personally know and trust in the area who can pick up your cat and care for him until you can get him?
    via CrickettheCattie
  • 18
    MissyGray Gray GET SOMEONE ELSE TO CHECK ON THE CAT!! Where did you find this person? I would be super worried. The fact that she's not sending you photos or videos suggests that something is wrong. You need to have a
    via MissyGray
  • 19
    neighbor or some trusted person go over there ASAP!! Not feeding him so he OBEYS?!?!?! I'd be on the next plane home if I couldn't find someone to go there now.
    via MissyGray
  • 20
    Algae-Downtown She should not moderating your cat's diet without permission. The only way I can see this being ok if your cat is severely overweight and she's looking out for his health. Cats do not understand food punishments like that in relation to behavior. That is super weird and concerning to me. Do you know her personally or is this someone off an app?
    via Algae-Downtown
  • 21
    fairytalejunkie This made me so mad. Get your cat out of there.
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  • 22
    Dragonrider2002022 My cat is anti social but she will still make biscuits for whenever she sleeps. The only time I have her 'obey to get food' is when I ask her to sit before I place her food bowl down or before she gets treats. There is something wrong and it almost feels like she doesn't care anymore.
    via Dragonrider2002022
  • 23
    Cart... Oh no girl, be very worried. Do you have family or a friend to go pick up the cat? It doesn't matter if you wanted 100 pictures a day, she should send you 100 pictures a day without question or backlash. Her job is to keep the cat and you comfortable. Also dont you dare withhold food from my baby?
    via CartoonistNo3755
  • 24
    Cats can be stressed easily and he's in a new environment, around new people, new house, and you're not there - which the stress from all that can cause cats not to eat or drink as is. It's very dangerous to add onto that by making a stranger have him obey to get food.
    via CartoonistNo3755
  • 25
    You need to get your cat asap. Keep things cool as to her off so she not doesn't take it out on the cat for any weird reason, but if I were you, I wouldn't tell her when you're coming home to pick your cat up if you do end up picking him up early or sending someone to pick the cat up. Just show up.
    via CartoonistNo3755
  • 26
    Play it cool but go get your cat asap. (I say play it cool, meanwhile I'm so p ed I need to know when you get your cat back)
    via CartoonistNo3755

  • It’s totally reasonable to want pics of your furbaby. Peace of mind matters! Might be smart to have someone you trust swing by and make sure your kitty’s truly doing okay. 

  • 27
    GargantuanGreenG... Cat sitters are supposed to spoil the f out of your little one not scare them and starve them!
    via GargantuanGreenGoat

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pets stress advice cat owners feline pawrents moving Cats rescue
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